just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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