Who did Billy Mays play for?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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