is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
