HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
