i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
