it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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