just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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