btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
