He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize