Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
