Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
