we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You need Xanax blowdarts
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
