There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
