Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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