so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
