You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
