I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize