ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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