What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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