Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
