I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
