i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
