i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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