You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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