so let's talk penis.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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