and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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