Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
