i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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