Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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