dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I enjoy the company of your penis
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
