Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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