"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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