I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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