It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize