Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
