Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
