I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
