I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
