Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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