On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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