Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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