I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize