Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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