Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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