He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
