why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
