Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she woke up with a sticky ear
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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