I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
