please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
