he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
