I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
