it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
