Where did you get a picture of my penis
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
