I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
