I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
