R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
