Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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