my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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