yo everyone went to the hospital last night
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
